View Full Version : More Jokes

05-04-2006, 03:53 AM
> A guy walks into the local welfare office,
>marches straight up to the
> Counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE
>drawing welfare. I'd
> Really rather have a job."
> The social worker behind the counter says,
>"Your timing is excellent. We
> Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old
>man who wants a chauffeur
> And bodyguard for his beautiful Nymphomaniac
>daughter. You'll have to
> Drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply
>all of your clothes.
> Because of the long hours, meals will be
>provided. You'll be expected to
> Escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You
>will have to satisfy her
> Sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom
>apartment above the
> Garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a
> The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin'
> The social worker says, "Yeah, well... You
>started it."

05-04-2006, 03:54 AM
>> >>>
>> >>>Before I lay me down to sleep,
>> >>>I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
>> >>>One who's handsome, smart and strong
>> >>>One who loves to listen all night long,
>> >>>One who thinks before he speaks,
>> >>>One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
>> >>>I pray he's gainfully employed, and
>> >>>When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
>> >>>Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
>> >>>Massages my back and begs to do more.
>> >>>Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
>> >>>Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
>> >>>I pray that this man will love me to no end,
>> >>>And always be my very best friend.
>> >>>Amen.
>> >>>

>> >>>
>> >>>I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
>> >>>with huge boobs
>> >>>who owns a liquor store
>> >>>and a bass boat.
>> >>>This doesn't rhyme
>> >>>and I don't give a shit
>> >>>Amen.
>> >>>
>> >>>